Intention — the bullshit we’re doing all the time

How many of you have ever caught yourselves doing shit that apparently matters, but in fact, without paying much attention to what we’re actually doing?

Have you ever read a book for a few hours while sitting on the couch, but really dreaming of all the other things that you’ll do later on? Forcing yourself to keep score and do it for 3 hours — and the same thing for weeks or years?

Or have you been hitting the gym several times during the week for a couple of months or years but not putting much effort into actually knowing what you’re doing?

I’m not saying to stop doing things — this is the first step — but to stop doing them without intention.

How much of the books you’ve read have added value to your life? How much has your life improved so far? Isn’t that the goal of reading books?

Are we reading books for the sake of reading them, or to take information from them and be better at relationships, at business, to be better athletes, to look and feel better overall? In short, to enhance our well-being?

Same with the gym — how many of you have been pushing apparently hard, pursuing apparent progress with increasing load, reps, or speed — but then complaining about shoulder pain, back pain, or just feeling off? Is that the ultimate goal? Or are we kinda asleep at the wheel while doing these things?

I always think the most important question we can raise — no matter if we’re reading books, going on a date, cleaning up the house, or doing anything — is WHY. Yes, it even seems like a cliché. But why are you doing those things? This completely shifts your attention.

When you have a clear why — the intention is in place — it’s much easier not to do stupid things. Do you really need to force yourself to read the book for 3 hours straight when you’re not able to retain and digest the information?

When you know that the goal is to improve your relationship with your husband — and that’s the reason you picked up the book — you’re set. And now you don’t need to follow a stupid plan. You’re delving deep and trying to figure out how this information might bring you closer to your goals. Maybe reading for 15 minutes with 100% attention and then taking notes is the way to go. And while taking notes, you may figure out how to implement it in your circumstances.

That’s killing the ego. And that’s the hard part. Nobody is proud of reading for 15 minutes. You don’t look superior among your friends, nor can you share it on social media. But it’s remarkable — and might work surprisingly well. People might notice that during the advent of hustle, you’re taking a quite different approach.

Same at the gym — why are you trying to add more and more all the time? More sets, more weight, more reps. Of course, you have to progress. But if your technique is off, your quality of life decreases, and you have some pain — it seems like the opposite of why you started working out.

It always strikes me how easy it is to lose touch with our intention. Our attention drifts away and hooks on things that aren’t our goals. And the root cause is IDHD — intention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Yes, IDHD, not ADHD.

We’re lacking intention. The key question and reason — why the heck are you doing what you’re doing? That’s the quintessence of life — of your physique, your sexual satisfaction, your bank account balance, your sleep quality, and everything.

My advice for you today is — take a gentle pause when switching from one activity to the next. Ask yourself the question: why did I decide to do this?

When you grab your phone — perhaps ask: Why? Do I really want to spend the next hour lost on social media?

When you’re headed to the gym — Why am I working out? To feel better and sleep well — perhaps.

When you’re going on a date — Why did I decide to meet with him or her? To be in good company that supports me and shares the same passions — maybe that’s your goal.

It can be anything. In any situation. It sounds easy, but it’s not easy. In fact, it’s simple — but pretty hard. It requires you to question the automaticity that dictates your life all the time. It forces you to take ownership. And we’re all programmed to avoid that — mainly from the social programming in school where no one takes ownership.

You don’t take ownership — because you can always say that you’re doing something meaningless because the teacher wants you to. Your teacher can explain that they know it sucks, but they have to follow the school program.

My approach is quite different because it shifts the responsibility onto you.

Give it a shot and let me know how your experiences are going. I respect you, and it’s common that you prefer to share anonymously — so you can always check the send as anonymous checkbox to feel comfortable.

I wish you the best of luck for the rest of the day.