We all have them — or at least we pretend that we want to achieve something.
Either it’s losing some pounds, getting a better job, or finding a partner.
Most of the time we make a list of things we have to do.
We try to do the things or merely check the checkbox, get shit done, and go back to “real life.”
And that’s where the entire point is missed.
The point of goals and achieving them is to make changes to who we are.
We aren’t fixed entities programmed in the past (kindergarten, pre-school, school, high school… etc.)
We’re changing. We’re evolving — or at least we have the ability to.
The hard thing is that we rarely notice that we can.
We wanna lose some weight, so we follow a plan, we work out, we eat better, and everything goes well.
But at some point, we think,
“Oh, that’s great. Let’s settle in.”
And then in a blink of an eye, everything returns back to normal.
The old normal — when you didn’t look how you wanted to look.
Same thing with meditation.
People are stressed out, can’t handle emotions well, and can’t sleep because they’re overthinking everything.
And then boom — meditation is advertised as the remedy.
We’re listening to peaceful music, maybe some nature landscape, and we’re counting breaths or whatever.
And we’re peaceful for a moment or two.
But then boom — we’re back in the chaotic world, and nothing seems to change.
We just wasted 20 minutes following some woo-woo practice.
Of course, diets and meditation do make sense and play a major role.
But the problem is, we can’t use them as quick tools that guide us for a moment or two.
They ain’t springboards — sure, you can jump, but eventually you fall back in the same spot with sore knees.
They should work more like tools that refine how we’re behaving all the time —
days, months, years.
Otherwise, they’re just noise. Not signal.
The Illusion of Self
“I don’t like this. I don’t like that. I prefer to do things this way.”
Sure, we’ve got individual traits that we should leverage — and imperfections that we should accept.
If you’re a 170cm man, you probably ain’t gonna be a good basketball player.
And despite all your might, it’s not gonna pan out.
Same if you’re an average-height lady — pursuing a fashion model career might bring a lot of disappointment.
We have constraints. And we should embrace them.
But more often than not, most of the constraints we think we have don’t exist in reality.
There are hundreds of self-imposed limitations caused by our beliefs — beliefs people introduced into our lives.
Parents. Teachers. Friends. Family members. Jerks. Loved ones. All of them.
Even the fact that you enjoy a certain dish might be due to your connections.
Maybe you ate chicken soup every Sunday with your cousins after church at your grandparents’ house.
The soup was average. But the connection, the fun before and after, the stories, the PS2 games —
That is what conditioned you.
Of course, we’ve all got a ton of blissful memories and conditioned responses that serve us.
But when you’re unhappy, anxious, or overly worried, you should ask yourself:
Why is that?
Some experience — maybe forgotten — has programmed your nervous system to see the situation that way.
Take a brief pause. Be mindful of it.
Write it down in your journal, your notes app, whatever.
That’s also the reason why I decided to create Moment.
It’s a free app that encourages brief pauses during the day — to take stock of how you’re feeling.
And if you’re intentional enough,
maybe you'll see a bit clearer who you are…
and who you could become.
If you're curious, you can try Moment here.
No pressure. Just a few mindful pauses — maybe they'll change something.